YOU DON'T HAVE TO BELIEVE IN MAGIC!

Right about the time when Seattle began its Public Access Network (PAN) I decided to take that giant step from my trusty Texas Instruments TI-99/4A computer to my first IBM-style machine, a marvelous, used 80286 with 2MB RAM and its "huge" 10MB harddrive, discovering that magical world of linking to "far off" places via modem, a 2400 baud Hayes. One could call PAN, download the free Ripterm client, then check on Ferry schedules, Sports, events in and about Seattle and even leave messages to the world! The only problem was getting that program to install properly; even after trying it several times, for some reason or other I could never quite get it to work right.

Connecting to PAN was special, it was my ticket to the world! Simply clicking a few options and being able to "read all about it" seemed like magic!

That humble TI still had an active users' group and some of us had succeeded in linking to PAN, even if on a smaller scale. It was exciting. Ripterm, however, seemed to promise so much more flexibility that getting it to work on the 286 became an obsession. Flipping through an old "Computer User" one day, looking for another possible source of that balky Ripterm program I happened to spot the ad that would, as innocently as it might have appeared at the time, change my life in ways impossible to imagine!

KING OF THE CATS! Ripterm! Download it free, it said. Okay, let's try that one, I thought; let's see if it works better. It did! And for some time, linking to the Public Access Net and discovering the world of modeming was magic, indeed!

Now, what's this King of the Cats business, I wondered? Cats had always been part of my life! My family still dearly missed our all-time favorite, that killer of rodents and lover of cream and laps, the one who never lost a fight except for that final battle with her own failing health, our beloved Miss Boots!

"Create Your Cat" -- Okay, that's easy! Bootsie lives again! Female, black and white, stray, Maine Coon seemed like a good choice. Bootsie was everything all rolled into one... Enchantress, Giver of Bloodtests, Tormenter of Anything Smaller than She, Explorer of Trees and Rooftops, Fellow Monday Night Football Recliner Chair Occupant...

Dear Reader: It's time to let your imagination roam -- look over my shoulder as we enter and explore this Kingdom of Cats!

Ethyl's House. Oh my god, what have I gotten myself into? Ripterm is working nicely on this old piece of (well, you know) computer. Click here.

Stairwell post, left. Ah! Information! The Yowl! A lot of chit chat, some useful, some of it flippant. I like it! It's charming!

What happens if I go up those stairs? Oops! Don't mess with Son of Sam! That is one nasty cat! Kitten Boots retreats. In real life, that SoS would have been history; however, this is make-believe. Easy now. They said right up front that you get nine lives. Use them up and it's over. Okay, fine!

Let's try the kitchen! That must be Ethyl herself! Purrrrrrrr..............

How nice! Ethyl gives treats! She likes me! A bottle on the shelf. No! Cats DO NOT tolerate stuff from bottles with XXX in the label! Hic!

Look, a refrigerator! Cats know about stuff in those! Uh oh! Ethyl does not allow cats to raid her refrigerator!

Cupboard! What? Liquid soap? No thanks! I hate baths! Licking cat-self is adequate. Aha! Groom! A clean coat means a healthy cat! Funny, that!

Explore! Living room, clock. Cuckoo! Wouldn't be fun to swat that loony bird? But how?

Nap! Think about this. Nighttime comes, let's explore this house. Somebody is snoring in that bed. Could that be Ethyl? Pounce on Ethyl! Ouch! Bad mistake! We've haven't come down those stairs this fast before! We think Ethyl might not like being pounced upon while snoring...

Oh look, the front door's open. Some other clever cat blew it up! Now, this is cool! Cats' favorite time of day -- night! Let's try going this way. Manhole cover? Wow! We can go down there! What a maze! How do we get back? Try this. Will we die down here? Hisssssss........alligators! You're really kidding about this, right? I'm beginning to think this Sysop has a mean streak. Kittens can't kill alligators! But we finally manage to escape. Whew!

Even obsolete 286's have reset buttons, thank goodness!

Little by little, we learn that all things aren't as they seem in Fleattle! I am, after all, a grown man pretending to be a cat and that might just strike some people as peculiar, methinks.

Little by little, we meet other players. There's a bit of recommended reading here and there, lots of friendly advice and, in particular, the most bizarre yet incredibly funny game anyone could dream up -- Catapult!

There, on the top of Leishman Tower, accessible via elevator no less, is a catapult -- a most sinister contraption! There's another one on the hilltop. It takes two cats to play. Click the little cage, pull out a mouse, make him stand under the gunpowder dispenser with his little mousemouth wide open, load him up, stuff his scrawny little mousebody into the catapult, get the grid coordinates just right and launch him!

Shhhhhhhffffffffffawham! Two unhappy little mice meet in mid air right over the middle of town! Kabammm! This was a particularly hilarious experience with the advent of sound effects, using the later version of Ripterm...

If you're still with me this far, as I sincerely hope, I'd conclude that you like cats, puzzles, and a bit of adventure. The latter abounded in Fleattle; its creators had an imagination which seemed to know no bounds! Various stages of progress within the realm required certain prerequisites. A cat had to maintain its health; points could be gathered playing various games as well as fighting assorted critters. Exploring strange places had its rewards! Let's explore!

One particularly sinister trap was the roving cat-catcher. A nasty little man who would grab you by your fluffy little tail and stuff you into his truck then deliver the hapless cat to the Pound! Really! If you stayed there all night, well, let's say they had a crematorium in that place!

To save the unfortunate cat, other cats would have to shut down Fleattle's Power Station!

In an elaborate maze of electrified fencing, one would have to follow a prescribed routine, running through three separate grids, do some arithmetic to enter the proper codes, then hightail it out of there. With a bit of luck, the city would be thrown into darkness, automatically releasing the kennel doors and freeing any imprisoned cats there. Clever?

Well, those kennels also had some colored wires inside a control panel and if you worked them just right...

And that was the idea -- to keep you puzzled even though various experienced players might not have found it difficult. Happiness in the early days of kittenhood was to make a friend. Bootsie, too, made such a friend and I suppose that this is what makes life so enjoyable! Some wonderful friendships were formed in Fleattle and not all of them imaginary!

The Kingdom had so much diversity that players of all ages could find their favorite niche. One area, in particular, had the most basic appeal to all -- the Kit Kat Klub. It was a public chat room; cats gathered around the pool tables and chatted. The spontaneous humor there was special, indeed! There were times when I was laughing so hard that I had trouble seeing my keyboard.

For more "private" chats there was the Puss Puss Cafe with a sign closely resembling the real place up on Capitol Hill. Cats could order certain beverages rendering them rather incapable of catching merely one mouse... There was the school, Hepworth Elementary, where cats could attend classes by that master of the vernacular, the talking parrot, Ross Parot. The sessions were to be done in conjunction with a cassette tape from KOTC and Ross taught how to deal with various aspects of Fleattle's challenges. Regrettably, I can't type like that parrot talked! You had to hear it for yourself and it was definitely worth the few bucks it took to get those crazy creators to mail it out.

That recording is a classic!

Another of Turk's and Fatcat's wicked little creations were the spider webs. Ross gave detailed instruction in the best ways to beat the Black Widow out of her cocoons. Not that any "normal" cat would ever wish to do that, mind you, but what these two evil guys had in mind would follow later. One found the spiders here and there; Heister Park had one such location and, if one was clever enough, one could find ones way through the bushes with a shortcut to the hills!

Ah, the hills! The other catapult was there, of course, along with another chat area, with room for three cats -- Telegraph Point. At night, there'd be a roaring fire for cats with cold feet and the occasional meteorite whizzing by.

There was another maze on that confounded hill -- poison ivy to make a cat wish it was wearing armor and catnip, to make the average feline go into total ecstasy! After that trip one never quite knew in which part of the maze one wound up!

The trick to this maze was to find the meadow where, twice each month, the gypsies camped! The phases of the moon had everything to do with it, right down to the day! If a cat got it just right, the good gypsies, through an elaborate ritual, bestowed magic charms. And a cat needed magic for various reasons. The other gypsies weren't quite as accommodating -- boiled cat stew was a favorite with them and the trick was to keep from getting caught and tossed into their pot! Thank goodness for those reset buttons! Timing was everything!

The Kingdom grew; cats discovered a direct path to Stonehenge! Okay, believe this: Spaceships, no less -- incredibly ugly aliens to either fight or charm out of their alien pants, depending on ones disposition. The nice ones would take you for a ride and drop you at a place of your choice! Free!

Take that, City Cab!

One such place was the Beach. Of course, a cat could also take the train, the Leo Liner, right from King Station!

Scoop Beach! (No, your owner was not required to follow with a shovel and bag! )

There was an umbrella, a chat area as well as a good place to clean up catself. Scavenger hunting was the main reason. It was those keys, if a cat was persistent, that would be useful in stealing Allen's truck! That nasty catcatcher! The gold coin could be used to blow up Ethyl's front door and suddenly, all these little tricks and quirks began to connect! What sort of an imagination was behind all of this? We were soon to find out!

Hit that jelly fish often enough and, well, oh shucks, a cat's last vision of Fleattle was that RIP screen! No, not the terminal program, Ripterm! This one meant "Rest In Peace!" In our total immersion of the moment, we forgot to check our "Cat Stats". Health had apparently dropped to zero...

Death was part of the game! A cat could catch, fight or kill rats and mice and there was a particularly wicked game called "Three Mice U Blind". Chop and maim; scary, huh?

Trivia. -- Points! Those more demanding trivia-loving cats could visit the Library! Imagine! Points were becoming important suddenly! A kitten didn't have much strength or agility, for one thing. The way to boost those was to visit the Temple! Let me take you there now.

Click!

"Sorry, this isn't the proper day for Maine Coons! Come back tomorrow!"

Goodness! They told me all that in the literature they mailed out when we joined, for heaven's sakes! Okay! Mondays and Fridays are good. We enter, trembling. "Place the mummified cat eye on the altar!"

The "what?" HELP!!!

Oh, stupid kitten! You first gotta go down into Minert's Mortuary, trick that cat-hating brat and find that talisman! Thank cat heavens for mentors! Yeah, well, meow baby! I got it! Friday! The Temple! It's scary!

There is an established ritual a cat must follow or get tossed out on its pretty little cat ear! Finally, success!

Congratulations! You have successfully completed the requirements for...

Level Two.

Increased Strength

Increased Agility

It's all a matter of time. Eventually, we learn how to beat the gators, the rats, the dogs (yes, dogs! Outside the dumpster behind Elliott's Butcher Shop!), grow Sea Monkeys, what? Yes, artemia. Primordial soup! Whale bliss! Another one of the prime puzzles here. There are two aquaria (ums?). Feed the shrimp. Get it just right and set a new record! Oops!

"You've killed them all!"

It reminds me of how wicked these Sysops really are! I always wondered if they just sat back, watching, laughing themselves silly...

Points! Other cats' antics become challenging! Just about the time you thought you had it, comes another, smarter cat and beats you to it! Like climbing the trees to collect birds! Here I come with my catch of the day, Robin24. So, where the poodle are robins 1 thru whatever?

Dead Bird Lotto! Get the right bird and win the pot! This one took a while but, with enough patience, we finally had them all! "Place your bird on the counter and take your ticket!" Ah! That's more like it! I suppose that games are just that, games! Games entertain us, the occasional victories please us. Hence, games.

"YOU WON!"

It felt good, the first time that happened. Bootsie got the prize! All those points! More points so we could continue our quest for greatness!?

One thing usually led to another. More experience meant more exploration. Cats generally had to fend for themselves if caught in a "ticklish" situation. The one exception to this was within the Cemetery! Yes, gravestones and more mazes. A cat would carry flowers to pay tribute to the purrly departed, try to cheat the skeleton out of his bones and, get this, explore a real Mausoleum! Here was another one of Turk's wicked little spots. The challenge was to catch the incinerator down-times, climb up the ducts into a laboratory! Just outside this strange and frightening place was a room with various body parts to be collected, mismatched and carried back to the lab. Next, up onto the roof of the place, inserting a special diode found, where else, in the grounds of the Power Station! Then, back into the lab, fiddle with the controls and, if the weather was just right, getting that bolt of lightning to zap the place and bring to life, a cat's very own -- Frankenrat!

Frankenrats were cats' special buddies, standing by their side when cats ventured into the cemetery. They proved invaluable when confronted by vicious marauding Zombiedogs! Bootsie's rat-pal stood by her faithfully, defending her against all comers.

There were so many different areas that it will be difficult, if not boring to the reader, to describe them all. Turk has already done that well enough in his webpages. It would be appropriate, however, to mention a few more, particularly those created by other active player-cats who mastered the art of "ripping" , creating RIP graphics.

The Theater! Yes, cats could buy tickets and see a movie! And there was more! When the projector broke down, clever cats could hunt for the missing projector lamp, install it, run the machine and spill the reel of film all over the place. Cat fun!

There was the Gas Station, patrolled by Astro, the Doberman. Not the sort of creature your average cat would challenge but it seemed that this one was usually hungry and if a cat figured out how to get that bag of Gravy Train down from the shelf, Astro would wind up licking a cat's feet! Success here meant another maze where cats stumbled through a row of tires to find their ultimate prize.

The Wendell Art Museum! Also created by a player-cat, it was a charming exhibit of Fleattle's Mayor and First Lady's foofy dog, their poodle! As if to annoy cats, Mayor Boyland even erected a statue of hizzonor's self, stored under wraps in a back room! Cats quickly learned that, with a bit of cunning, they could pull that drape off and reduce that heinous statue to rubble!

As a reward, cats got to raid the refrigerator for goodies, meaning instant health points!!!

Fleattle's Church had been there from the early days. One could seek the Holy Man for advice. A cat could also rummage for various special charms, all with specific purposes. A bit later on, a player-cat created an add-on tower sequence which had its own charm; cleverly done, as was a series of RIP-screens posted in the Yowl, where our dear Mayor discovered that floating in the pool was not as harmless as he might have thought!

The creativity of the Sysops as well as that of these contributors was most astounding as it was entertaining!

You might see, at this point, that this "King of the Cats" business has grown on us... The charm of the place, the sometime frustrating puzzles, the interaction with the various players was unlike anything we'd ever experienced before. This wasn't "Dungeons and Dragons", this wasn't sitting at the coffee table playing chess or scrabble or cards, this was a wonderful, magical dream where we decided which way to go, what to say, testing our imagination against that of the creators (and usually coming up short), continually challenged, inspired to do things never before imagined -- being a cat!

The King races were the cream of the puzzle lover's crop. The object, quite obviously, was to gain that title!

"The King of the Cats!"

We saw roughly six different cats gain that title. Some were most gracious, some rather inconspicuous but all of them solved that ultimate puzzle!

With the creation of the next tier and membership in the absolute pinnacle of cathood, the Catamount, where level 18 cats had their own private offices, we came to examine our conscience.

This is a game! Don't you think it's silly at your age to be playing at being a cat? After all, Bootsie, in the fur, had been gone for over four years. The fact that we loved that cat will never be disputed but isn't it time to let her rest?

Well, you don't have to believe in magic! You don't have to love cats, you don't even have to want a computer. But then, you don't have to enjoy yourself either, right?

You don't have to spend a bit of time, now and then, letting your imagination run rampant, visit art museums, go to concerts, watch sunsets...

Wouldn't you like to believe in magic?

Do you know a cat? Look into his eyes! If you're real lucky, maybe he'll show you the way!

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